How well do you know yourself? If you were to be completely honest, you probably don’t know yourself as well as you think you do.
Human beings are complex and continually changing. I have experienced multiple changes in myself over the years. One example is my taste in home decor. It has gone from everything white and glass with a light, contemporary look to dark, heavy wood and iron. In the last couple of years, my decorating taste changed again to everything bright, colorful, and modern!
On a deeper level, changes have taken place with whom I consider my closest friends. Positive and negative life experiences with people, the passing of time, and moving a lot during my growing up years have all impacted those I choose to welcome into my inner circle.
I have also seen my very own identity change in the way I define myself. I’ve noticed I tend to put a lot of emphasis on who I am based on what interests I am most passionate about at the moment. Right now, I define myself as a blogger, book writer, jewelry designer, and water fitness enthusiast.
But more importantly, who am I on the inside? That is also continually changing. One of the greatest longings of the human soul is to be able to fully know and understand ourselves.
Why do we do what we do? What drives us? What are our motives? What are our deepest wounds and why do they hurt us so much?
Created to be Fully Known
The only way toward complete self-understanding is by having a relationship with God. He knows everything about you. There is no one else who can know you fully and completely like He does. In His perfect timing, He will reveal the deepest parts of who you are so He can do His work in you, shaping you to become more like Him.
You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. Psalm 139:1-4
You were created to be fully known. Even though God already knows everything about you, He desires for you to be open and vulnerable with Him so you can enjoy a fulfilling relationship and receive the total extent of His deep love for you. When you are fully known, you can then discover who you are. It also intensifies your need for God as you realize your greatest weaknesses.
To be Fully Known is to be Deeply Loved
In the world we live, the way we are perceived is valued far above reality. Through our social media posts and how we present ourselves so flawless and perfectly polished to others, we are constantly trying to create an image covering up who we really are. Why do we do this? To avoid rejection.
But the more we fake it, the less we are truly loved. If someone loves an image of yourself that you have created, you cannot actually receive that love because it isn’t real. To be fully known is to be deeply loved.
This is a great explanation from Timothy Keller’s book The Meaning of Marriage:
To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.
Think about a relationship in your life where you both deeply love each other. Most likely, it took quite awhile to feel that kind of love for one another.
Relationships take time and effort to get to a place where you feel safe and free to share your heart. To have a real relationship, you cannot just talk about surface stuff (like your taste in home decor). At some point, your conversations have to go much deeper so you can truly know and understand each other. Once you get to that level, you can then experience a genuine love.
As strong as your love may be, however, it is often conditional. I’ve had friends in the past with whom I have had a very close bond. I would have thought nothing could ever tear our friendship apart. But if something happens along the way to weaken that bond, such as breaking my trust, my love for them and our friendship is no longer the same.
No Matter What
God’s love is much different. It is not conditional or based on anything that we do or don’t do, good or bad. To experience the depths of His love is to understand that you are loved no matter what. It doesn’t matter if you are addicted to drugs or alcohol, cheated on your spouse, had an abortion, committed a crime, or even hate God. You can never be unlovable! You are totally forgiven and NOTHING can ever separate you from His love.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
One of my favorite songs on the radio right now is No Matter What by Ryan Stevenson. His lyrics emphasize the meaning of those encouraging verses from Romans:
No matter what you’ve done
You can’t erase His love
Nothing can change it
You’re not separated
No matter where you run
He’s always holding on
You’re still a daughter, you’re still a son
No matter what
God is a very patient God. He will wait as long as it takes for you to share your heart with Him without reservation. He greatly desires a close, intimate relationship with you.
God already knows all the secrets of your life, so there is nothing to hide. Know that when you do share your heart, He will never reject you. Trust that He is a good Father and simply wants to love you deeply.
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! Psalm 139:17-18a
The Symbol of Love
With Valentine’s Day around the corner, this is the time of year when we see a lot of hearts. They decorate the walls of restaurants, shops, and, of course, every jewelry store. The worldwide meaning of the heart symbol is love, dating all the way back to the 13th century.
God’s love for you dates back to before you were even born!
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. Psalm 139:13-14
Yes, we are complex and continually changing. Our tastes change, our friendships change, and who we are based on our passions of the moment goes through change.
But God’s love for you never changes. And who you are in Him has nothing to do with how you or anyone else defines you. When you become a follower of Christ, He gives you a brand new identity.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17
I recently purchased these colorful vintage Hollycraft heart-shaped clip earrings from the 1950s to repurpose:
They are a beautiful symbol of God’s love for us. Not shallow and conditional, but the deepest kind of love that is only experienced when we are fully known.
You are completely secure in God’s love. Know that you can come boldly before Him, unpolished, with all of your flaws exposed. It is then that He can begin to shape you into the beautiful creation He made you to be…fully known and deeply loved.
Sparkler #1: Prayer
If you struggle to be open and vulnerable with God, ask Him to help you feel safe and secure in His love for you so you can experience a more intimate relationship with Him.
Sparkler #2: Action
Spend time each day reading God’s Word, His love letter to you. There are so many places throughout the Bible where He reminds you of His deep, endless, and unconditional love for you.
Sparkler #3: Challenge
Share your heart on a deeper level with others so you can be known and genuinely loved for who you are and not for a flawless image you have created.
Kimberly Moore is a vintage costume jewelry expert, blogger, speaker, and author of Beauty in a Life Repurposed. To learn more, visit her website at kingdomsparkle.com.
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